Not even worth a proper title.Mature

I don't know where this belongs, just some random thoughts.

Dear you, merciless creature full of hatred and assholism
I used to love and was willing to never stop

I will proudly announce that I'm over you now, in other words

I don't like you, nor do I love you, nor are you worth a "fuck you"

You were simply nothing but a footstep in the sand, vanished by the self-loathing that consumes me, each day.

See, I've never been the kind to, break out of the shell I made to protect myself from people like you, go out
and stand in the middle of the crowd.
I've never been the kind to wait for someone to speak to me.
I've always had a logic thinking on this life:
How could self-nonacceptance be accepted?
How could anyone one mercy me if I hate myself enough to say: I am not worth a shattered piece of mercy.

You never loved me, I know that.

I was just you favorite pastime
I'm everyone's favorite pastime
" the weirdo " who was viewed as an arrogant creature while being so drained by anxiety.

The girl who was never worth a "hello"
The girl who would take any thing sharp and trace her skin.

In your eyes I was nothing more than a fucked up girl.
You never tried to read between the lines
To me, you were the sun, the moon, the galaxies, the stars, the constellations, you were everything.
Now that I think about it, I wonder what blinded me so much
Was it your two-faced words or my gullible naivety?

I hate myself for loving you
I even hate myself for writing this poem and knowing you're the main topic
You are nothing but a walking miserable not a spit on the face worthy shit.
But I will blame myself again, because after all it's all my fault.
I'm not even worth being loved by a walking shit.

The End

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