Sid Slapadab would paint all day
In colours drab, or colours gay.
He sat upon his little stool
And painted pictures hot, or cool.
He painted in his studio
Bright pictures with his Judy oh;
But she grew difficult to please,
As he would only paint her knees
Bright blue, vermilion, or puce.
Until she cried out "What the deuce,
I much prefer a natural tan".
He said,"I'll paint that, if i can".
He mixed some burnt sienna brown
Which, with some turpantine thinned down,
Made Judy's knees quite sore and 'stingy'
She said,"That looks a little dingy".
Sid Slapadab continued paintin'
Until his girl was rreally quaint in
Brown paint, which covered aver all
Her socks and dress up to her shawl.
Now when he reached her nack, she swore
To him that she would take no more.
She took her leave, still painted brown,
Taking a stroll right through the town.
A filming crew from I.T.V.
Was passing by and chanced to see
The dun-brown maid parading by;
The camera-man called out "Hi Hi,
Stand still, old girl, I want to take
A camera shot, a film to make".
Now Judy sensing fortune's fame
Said,"Hold your horses, what's the game?,
Do i get paid for this 'ere act?,
And what's the terms of my contract?".
The T.V. crew said, "No such luck,
It's curiosity, old duck.
It will fill up an empty spot".
But Judy shouted, "thats your lot,
You don't film me unless i'm paid".
So they departed, I'm afraid.
Poor Judy was as much browned off
As a big dish of stoganoff;
(The Russian beef stew, understand?)
And, as a model, chucked her hand
In, never more to pose again,
Nor even trusted painting men.
Thus, builders' ladders she will shun,
And from all painters she will run.
She married, after many a trail,
Amusic man, who, on the viol
Plays tunes, when any one has paid 'un,
Called, 'How i love my nut-brown maiden'.