The Model

Sid Slapadab would paint all day

In colours drab, or colours gay.

He sat upon his little stool

And painted pictures hot, or cool.

He painted in his studio

Bright pictures with his Judy oh;

But she grew difficult to please,

As he would only paint her knees

Bright blue, vermilion, or puce.

Until she cried out "What the deuce,

I much prefer a natural tan".


He said,"I'll paint that, if i can".

He mixed some burnt sienna brown

Which, with some turpantine thinned down,

Made Judy's knees quite sore and 'stingy'

She said,"That looks a little dingy".

Sid Slapadab continued paintin'

Until his girl was rreally quaint in

Brown paint, which covered aver all

Her socks and dress up to her shawl.

Now when he reached her nack, she swore

To him that she would take no more.

She took her leave, still painted brown,

Taking a stroll right through the town.


A filming crew from I.T.V.

Was passing by and chanced to see

The dun-brown maid parading by;

The camera-man called out "Hi Hi,

Stand still, old girl, I want to take

A camera shot, a film to make".

Now Judy sensing fortune's fame

Said,"Hold your horses, what's the game?,

Do i get paid for this 'ere act?,

And what's the terms of my contract?".

The T.V. crew said, "No such luck,

It's curiosity, old duck.

It will fill up an empty spot".

But Judy shouted, "thats your lot,

You don't film me unless i'm paid".

So they departed, I'm afraid.


Poor Judy was as much browned off

As a big dish of stoganoff;

(The Russian beef stew, understand?)

And, as a model, chucked her hand

In, never more to pose again,

Nor even trusted painting men.

Thus, builders' ladders she will shun,

And from all painters she will run.

She married, after many a trail,

Amusic man, who, on the viol

Plays tunes, when any one has paid 'un,

Called, 'How i love my nut-brown maiden'.

The End

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