no title...only pain.
Here's something I just discovered a few days ago...I wrote it on August 25th, 2011. It brought back all the memories of who I used to be...and who I no longer am.
no title...only pain.
when i tried to tell myself the Truth, i felt contradicted
how can i ever trust You when im this conflicted
i used to know how to pray in every circumstance
i used to feel like Your love was a magical romance
now, when i kneel to pray, my tongue is dry
how long ago was it that my soul died
i fall to my face and beg to feel something other than numb
this coldness inside that constricts my lungs
it doesnt seem too long ago that i claimed to love
to think and believe that You were more than enough
but those days are over. im tired and confused
its far more than just my accursed ego being bruised
since when has this linguists tongue been at a loss
since when have i not been able to get my point across
no, this emptiness has reached my soul
my feelings have been sucked inside some black hole
i try to cry to You, but i cant say anything
i can only form unintelligible moaning
when i try to read Your Word, i have to close it
i feel condemned, but nobody knows it
i lose the stare-down against my own self
i silently struggle alone, and tell nobody else
for if i tell a soul how im suffering, what will they think of me
if i dare to cry, they wont think im as strong as i seem to be

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