navigate me.

     i think you should know.
     i’m dead.
     i want to come back
     and slap you until
     my hand is permanently
     etched on your delicate
     cheek.
     when you handed me that
     necklace,
     you whipped out
     your claws,
     ripped my heart straight
     from my chest,
     shredded it with your
     bare teeth,
&    spit it back in my
     mouth.
     you wired your words into
     my eardrums,
     permanent headphones.
     all i hear is,
“    give this back when you
     decide i’m what you want,
     you decide,
     i’m what you want.”
“    i can’t take much of this
     anymore,
     anymore,
     anymore,
     anymore,
     i can’t,
     anymore.”
“    this is the,
     third third third third
     third third third third
     third third third third
     third third third third
     time.”
     your heartbeat is pounding
     a canyon into my chest.
     your hand is on my switch.
     i’m leaking, the ocean is
     flooding my eyes.
     on. off. on. off. on. off. on. off.
     off. on. off. on. off. on. off. on.
     jellyfish are stinging my
     retinas. i’m going to drown.
     you snatched my life jacket
     and left me for the eels,
     waiting at the ocean floor,
     waiting.
     don’t think i want you
     back now.
     i’m drowning, but my
     mind is crystal clear.
     i’m dating him.
     holding, kissing, talking, caressing,
     loving, smiling, laughing, happy.
     but you should know.
     i sent that note,
     and i wanted to die.
     because i realized how
     much i care for you.
     i send this to you with
     no regrets.
     you should know how i feel.
     maybe you’ll try to fix
     me.
     i doubt it.
     i love you,
     but i can’t be with you for
     a long time,
     if i want to survive.
don’t talk to me.
          talk to me.
     you decide.

The End

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