sometimes I can sleep through your memory but most of the time it is with me everywhereMature

You wake up and it is the smell of coffee that first makes you think of her. You wake up and realize that the coffee pot is still programmed the way she left it, but the sheets aren’t warm anymore where she used to sleep and it was only yesterday that she left her key on the counter but you feel like it had to be a hundred years ago. The same coffee grounds brewing for a hundred years. You imagine that is what the inside of your heart is like just then, all rotten and dark.
You slip out of the covers and put your bare feet to the hardwood floors and they are colder than you remember. Everything is colder than you remember it ever being, but those sheets especially so. They catch your eye in the mirror and you know that her ghost is still there, looking at you and wondering if you’re going to break down like every bone in your body wants you to. You can almost hear her whispering, “go ahead,” but you lay back down and pull the pillow over your head and go back to sleep. At least in the dreams she isn’t pushing you to self destruct, at least in the dreams she’s still within reach.

The End

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