i am knuckle-deep inside my own chestMature

i am knuckle-deep
inside my own chest
digging for you, scraping
my nails along my ribs
and in the spaces between,
searching for any evidence
that you’re still lingering.
i am choking you to death
with cigarette smoke.  you
can’t stay in those lungs
forever if you ever want
to breathe again.  
i am drowning you
in oceans of absinthe.
i am bludgeoning you
to death with blow after
blow after blow of dust.
i am swallowing gasoline
and lit matches
hoping to burn you up
like a fever, wash you out
from my system in
a tidal wave.
i am killing myself to
erase you.

The End

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