My Story

A Sestina, I think the style/format is called. Another one of those poems from that old project, probably one of my favorites.

I've come to understand, that if I am to be free

I must continue searching, seeking truth

Let the trials and difficulties bring to life

A spirit and mind once locked in folly, and found

A new mission, so that for once I can really

Be proud of my strong will, thrice broken.

 

For in reality, it needed to be broken

Along with my pride, that once roamed free

To engulf all it wanted without ever really

Caring what was left of it or me. In truth,

I was blind.  After I fell, I didn't want to be found

Among the rubble of that all too destructive life.

 

Try to understand, then, that for a time I had no life

Aimless, empty, emotionless; a shell, always broken

By choice, for regardless whatever was to be found

Wasn't worth finding, or so I thought.  I was never free

From worry or anger, too ashamed of the truth.

I'd not so much avoided life as forgotten it, really.

 

Not that I could; not for long.  No one can really

Do that, decide that; no one can escape life

For long.  Regardless, in time sleepers wake up. Truth

Be told, I'd been waiting for it.  I had a broken

System, true, but a lot of potential too, that once free

Might even be worth something.  But it'd have to be found.

 

So out I went, and for better or worse, that's what I found

I needed help; that's understandable, but really

I had all I needed.  It was my own help, once free

From doubt and indecision, that changed my life.

Clarity, sweet and powerful, had swiftly broken

Through both my illusions and regrets, leaving truth

 

That, while still vaguely and barely palpable, was truth

Regardless.  It wasn't an answer that I'd found

So much as a former delusional reality finally broken

And traded in for a goal, an ideal, for once really

Worth holding on to.  I am proud to have a life

Worth fighting for, to have set my own self free.

 

Though were I free to speak the truth

My thoughts on life, I've found

It wasn't really just me that was broken.

Regardless,

You understand.

The End

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