The warden keeps me away from the rest of the world.
These four walls surround me, eerie in their blankness, because the warden refuses to have any posters anymore.
I skitter around and around, looking for a way out
And the warden watches me, laughing at my useless struggles, and pulls me back to my corner
The warden gives me a distraction to keep me busy for now.
I fiddle with it, but now I want out again.
The jail cell is open.
Someone calls me out, waving amicably at me
I look at the warden
The warden smiles and nods
Disbelief fills me up
I wonder what caused the mind change, but I try not to linger too long between the blank walls
I start walking, taking little steps to the opening, because I have to be really cautious
I’m so close, so very close, I can see the others, I can practically hear their heart beat. They extend an arm for me to take, and it feels like that whole world has slowed down. With shaking fingers, I reach my hand out to grab theirs…
I’m free –
But then the warden comes back, and pulls me away.
The warden looks at the outsiders, who are startled, and it shakes its head
It slams the cell shut, and I’m trapped again
The warden turns to me, and says it can’t let me go, it’s for my own safety, and it loves me too much, I need to stay here.
I back away from it, into my corner, and curl up.
I want to scream, or cry, or show emotion
But I won’t let the warden see me like that
I’ll never let the warden break me to that point where I show weakness
I rock back and forth, muttering to myself
Let me out, let me out, please, somebody let me out…