Thank you for your letter, let me address your concerns,
You stated that our product, in your tests that you have learned,
That usage on a graveyard, or similar place, you said,
Resulted in the rising of the unholy undead.
Now I don't appreciate your tone, about brain-related moans,
And I'm sorry that the lines were down on our technicians phones,
Could you not ask people, to stay within their homes,
It would be a PR nightmare, the likes of which we've never known
You've made your accusations, which we've strongly denied
Our product does not resurrect any people who have died
If you try to whistleblow on us, lawyers will be deployed
And your unsubstantiated claims about our product destroyed
So in summary, dear customer, your complaints we will dismiss
I warn that any more attempt at libel would be most remiss
But because we value your custom, and to make complaints relent
Let me refund you on our soap with the delightful lemon scent.