"Are you kidding me?" was all I heard
Before the lights went out.
"Was just a joke" I meekly said.
But it got lost beneath his shout.
Some men cannot take a joke
No matter how it's served.
And some will try to hit you
Whether or not it was deserved.
But this man in particular
Seemed much the opposite
Meek and small in stature
Too weak to pop a zit
Which is precisely why I chose him
To play my humorous deed
I was looking for some chuckles
And he seemed the type in need.
So when I set his pants on fire
While I asked him for the time
Then snatched his watch and broke it
Not considering it a crime
Then I donned a big fake burly beard
While I kicked him with my clog
And sang a song of impotence
For an encore - I shot his dog.
I smugly awaited the laughter
While he frantically beat the flames
I was so sure they'd all be rolling
When he was left in his smoldering Hanes.
I perused the room for reactions
And was surprised by horrified stares
"Are you kidding me?" was all he shouted
Before he kicked me down the stairs.