Looking at that Page

 

Turning twisting brown paper

I flatten the page with two books

It crunches beneath my fingers

I read the forbidden words

I say them out loud

 

I want to be seen

I want to be known

The paper doesn’t burn or shoot out bolts of electricity

I wonder if I set my hopes too high again

But I just can’t go back to being nothing at all

 

I look at the page again and see the words shift and lift of the paper

I shout the words now

“ I WANT TO BE SEEN! I WANT TO BE KNOWN!”

The words circle around me

Then embed themselves into my flesh

What a strange second skin

Then the fade beneath layers of skin and blood and bone

 

I pick up a tiny mirror

I tilt it up and gasp

And smile just a little

I run to a bigger mirror

My skin sparkles

Every corner every inch sparkles

Dead skin comes off as fairy dust

Twinkles in air and falls to the ground

 

I run off into the night

Looking for a nightclub

Any nightclub

I want to see how I look underneath those pulsating lights

I want to be seen here, now

I desire a boy with soulful eyes

Will he find me tonight?

 

My skin is blinding emitting rays of light

I don’t dance

I just stand there watching

People cover their eyes and put on sunglasses

The bouncer asks me to step away from the lights

So I shift over to the bar

I ask the bartender for a drink neither of us knows how to make

So I occupy my time looking at a laminated bar menu

“ Hey Twinkle…” He says

I slowly look up

He slides a tall sparkly drink my way

I smile too widely, I know

 

Know my insides sparkle as well as my outside

I bite my lip shyly

And ask him his name

He says “ Bernard”

Bernard touches my hand

Then slowly lifts his hand up

A thousand tiny diamonds fly out into the night

 

I wince but he reaches out to catch some

He watches as the drift back onto his palm

“ Neat” He mutters

I run my fingers on the bar

And trace the words “ Hi”

The words glitter on the sticky bar

 

“ Neat” He says again

He asks me then If I will meet him after closing

I trace the words on that counter again

The words “ yes” twinkle back at him

The End

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