This is a poem inspired by me imagining schoolgirls singing it about bad exs! Oh and for added effect, imagine Amanda Palmer singing it with her piano.
My boyfriend is a cannibal
I think he is a mess
Said not to worry bout the way I dress
When he pins me down his hands chill me to the bone
They're large and thick and hairy, and feel like stone
And When he shows his mandibles his eyes they confess
They'd really like a piece of my woman breast.
I never thought I'd ever like chicken less
And when I go to feed em my eyes look away
In case he wants to eat em, with a nice Chianti
I think he knows Hannibal
If so my brains are DOA
If Starling is to be believed
They'll be on silver today
If you date my boyfriend
Don't feed him tacos, less
You'd like him to have a bite of fast food on your chest
And suicide isn't merry when he chews on your bones
You'd rather wish he grind you for a philly-cheese steak with all the recipes he knows
And though he likes my lips to be juicy I think he wants to beer batter em and fry
Says I won't notice, or even cry
So don't date my boyfriend
He's crazy dont you see.
Boogyman of Bratwurst if you ask me!
Don't tell others hes a cannibal or he'll eat you with his mandibles or
Cook you with some animals
While singing carols oh
And dont tell that he's a cannibal
No really don't tell em hes a cannibal
Cus he'll stall you till he calls
Calls the men with the white coats to send to the asylum
Where you'll join me!