My Boyfriend is a CannibalMature

This is a poem inspired by me imagining schoolgirls singing it about bad exs! Oh and for added effect, imagine Amanda Palmer singing it with her piano.

My boyfriend is a cannibal

I think he is a mess

Said not to worry bout the way I dress

When he pins me down his hands chill me to the bone

They're large and thick and hairy, and feel like stone

And When he shows his mandibles his eyes they confess

They'd really like a piece of my woman breast.

I never thought I'd ever like chicken less

And when I go to feed em my eyes look away

In case he wants to eat em, with a nice Chianti

I think he knows Hannibal

If so my brains are DOA

If Starling is to be believed

They'll be on silver today

If you date my boyfriend

Don't feed him tacos, less

You'd like him to have a bite of fast food on your chest

And suicide isn't merry when he chews on your bones

You'd rather wish he grind you for a philly-cheese steak with all the recipes he knows

And though he likes my lips to be juicy I think he wants to beer batter em and fry

Says I won't notice, or even cry

So don't date my boyfriend

He's crazy dont you see.

Boogyman of Bratwurst if you ask me!

Don't tell others hes a cannibal or he'll eat you with his mandibles or

Cook you with some animals

While singing carols oh

And dont tell that he's a cannibal

No really don't tell em hes a cannibal

Cus he'll stall you till he calls

Calls the men with the white coats to send to the asylum

Where you'll join me!

The End

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