Mixed StateMature

Seven weeks on a pathetic edge
Nourished by the fading image in the mirror
Anything to make you notice
Sickness and harboured I regret nothing
Just how I became so plain in the first place

I don’t love you just the idea of you

Still stuck on the same pedestal
10 stone reads I am undesirable
Maybe I am too far gone
Just an effigy to be considered
To gather self esteem and leave me for dead
You might as fucking well
Be like the others

I don’t hate myself just who I was

I have no problems just an ideal to emulate
Collapsed somewhere I am alone
Do you care for me yet?
Or are you disgusted with me
I will fast just to reclaim my self respect
Don’t tell me what to do
It’s my fucking life

So much better, he’s a saint
Just like every man who is sexual
Celibacy is frowned upon
I wish I was more to be used again
Thrown away, denied, I wasn’t perfect
If I could starve those insecurities
I am not bothered by death
I am scared I will never die

The End

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