I remember why I never trust people
When they say they are going to do something.
Simple things like emailing me, or watching a movie with me.
To harder things like dying my hair, or watching me proform at my best.
I remember why one look can send daggers into my heart.
From doing something like yelling at a sibling to full out hitting them.
To the simple things that i write.
I remember why I could never have you touch me
All because I've felt abused from things i've done to myself.
I remember why I've wanted you to hold me.
So that I feel like i'm not a waist of space
I remember why I've wanted you to kiss me.
So that I feel like I'm truly loved.
I remember why I've wanted to hide,
From the things of my past that makes me cringe
I remember why I've cut myself.
All because I've felt like I'm dead to people I know
And because no one would care if I dissappeared.
I remember why i enjoy the rain.
It feels like something is sad for me
and the sky is crying all because it understands my pain.
I remember why I enjoy the fire.
Because it's one of the many ways I want to leave this world.
I remember why I have so much hate in me.
Because of all the kids my age and a year or two older
were always calling me names and giving me looks.
I remember why.