I remember why

I remember why I never trust people

     When they say they are going to do something.

          Simple things like emailing me, or watching a movie with me.

               To harder things like dying my hair, or watching me proform at my best.

I remember why one look can send daggers into my heart.

     From doing something like yelling at a sibling to full out hitting them.

          To the simple things that i write.

I remember why I could never have you touch me

     All because I've felt abused from things i've done to myself.

I remember why I've wanted you to hold me.

    So that I feel like i'm not a waist of space

I remember why I've wanted you to kiss me.

    So that I feel like I'm truly loved.

I remember why I've wanted to hide,

    From the things of my past that makes me cringe

I remember why I've cut myself.

     All because I've felt like I'm dead to people I know

          And because no one would care if I dissappeared.

I remember why i enjoy the rain.

     It feels like something is sad for me

          and the sky is crying all because it understands my pain. 

I remember why I enjoy the fire.

     Because it's one of the many ways I want to leave this world.

I remember why I have so much hate in me.

     Because of all the kids my age and a year or two older

          were always calling me names and giving me looks.

I remember why.

The End

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