Memories of what ceased to beMature

A poem I wrote about a bad break up...

I don’t even know what to say anymore…

You’re all I ever wanted, all I ever truly had,

And you slipped away from me in less then 24 hours…

I remember when you first started talking to me…

All I wanted was the loneliness that was swallowing me up,

But you talked me into speaking instead of wallowing in self pity.

You saw a part of me I honestly had forgotten I had.

I remember all those nights we’d call each other,

We would stay up for hours talking about anything and everything,

How we felt about each other,

How fucked up our lives were sometimes.

How you saved my life when the only other thing I felt could save me,

Was a razor and a trail of blood down my wrists…

God, if I could rewind time,

I would play those parts of my life every second,

Seeing your eyes light up when we started to talk…

That warm, safe feeling I felt whenever you said you loved me…

That’s one thing I never could get about you,

Your heart of gold, how you hardly showed It to anyone but me,

How you always seemed to let people walk all over you,

I think it was because you never wanted people to know what you were really like,

So they couldn’t point out your flaws,

They couldn’t break that fragile heart…

We were so much alike it wasn’t even funny,

I guess that’s part of the reasons I fell so hard for you,

And now all that’s like a photograph burning…

Fading because of the fantasies that other people want,

Instead of the reality they can’t seem to face.

I wish I could say you still loved me,

But I just don’t know anymore…

You stopped letting me know about your thoughts,

Whether you want anything to do with me,

Or if you want me to burn in hell.

But even if you hate me,

Even if you want to hurt me,

Break my heart and shatter it against a wall,

Even if I’m dead to you,

I hope my ghost,

And all of our memories come flooding back,

To haunt your heart.

 

 

The End

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