I thought my life was...Mature

I used to think that my life was normal
that my drunken mother
and my arrogant father
fighting every night
was normal
that my first day of school
finding out that not every kid
wore bruises on their skin
and fear in their eyes
that not all parents
were monsters
wrapped up in medicine and alcohol
that family was,
supposed to stick together
and not go missing for the first fifteen years of your life
I used to think that boys could get what they wanted
just by telling you it was right
and it was your fault they were doing it
that my father was always right
and I would be the one in trouble
My grandmother told me
that it was my fault
and that I was deserving
of such a monster of her son
so it rubbed into my head
that we are supposed to feel as if it is our fault
and we are deserving
of something so wrong
that we are not allowed to think
the things we are good at
will get us anywhere
and that we aren't good at what we love
And then I finally figured out
when I was terrified
and the dark was my nightmare,
I figured out that I was safe
because he was all the way across the country
And would never touch me again
but it didn't change
that I kept knives under my mattress
and kept the hall light on
but it did change
When I could tackle my boyfriend
and fall in love
And not have to worry
if he would be like my father
I thought my life was normal
and when I finally realized it wasn't
I was able to change it
and that not eveyone
Will be like your parents
and that you can be safe
And you can love
and you can be loved

The End

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