There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose di—


Stop right there.

Hi, I’m Peter Longstaff, Director of Tourism for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. For years we’ve enjoyed the humor of the great Limerick about the “Man from Nantucket.” But Massachusetts is more than that lovely island, and we have more activities than things you can do with your ear. So I invite you to come explore some new Limericks about the Commonwealth, and to discover the many parts of Massachusetts…

Said a longtime resident of P-Town,
“Summer’s end always makes me frown.
You might think it queer,
But when the beaches all clear,
There’s nobody left to blow me down!”

Confessed the young witches of Salem,
“Our bodies, by night we’d unveil ‘em.
The Devil had us possessed
As we showed off our breasts,
Any farm boys showed up, we would nail ‘em.”

A fisherman out on Cape Cod
Went blind from yanking his rod.
When he finally came,
He neglected his aim,
And hit both his eyes with his wad!

A promiscuous housewife in Worcester
Had a husband who just didn’t trust her.
So he hid in the hedges,
Kept an eye on the ledges,
All in the hopes he could bust her.

While shopping in Fanueil Hall,
My wife and I ducked into a stall.
We hid in the wares
And stripped to our bares
And there's where we had us a ball!

In the Berkshires, a Miss Penny Jones
Makes money on the telephones.
For $8.99
She’ll stay on the line
Until you get off on her moans.

In the Vineyard, Louisa and Dunn
Planned to have a picnic for fun
But they were in such a hurry
That while still on the ferry
His hot dog slipped into her bun!

Up on the Monster in Fenway
A fan would get up and then say,
“The Bosox all rule.
Kevin Youkilis is cool.
I could rhyme the last line, but nah—YANKEES SUCK !!”

The End

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