You smile at me,
And I smile at you.
We smile together,
Can make me feel like this.
Will make me feel like this.
As long as I am in your arms,
I am happy.
It was nearly a year. A whole year in the company of each other. It was crazy in my mind. A long time for something that felt so short. I could remember our first meeting like it was yesterday. And the day we first started going out. And all the memories of our months together...it was like a carefully written story, with a happy ever after ending. Well, that was what it was like so far. I was hoping in my mind that it would stay like that forever.
Our twelve month anniversary was going to be a special one. We were not going out, like all the other ones, but staying at home together, just on our own. The house would be ours, and we could be together all night, waking up beside each other. It would be a peaceful, meaningful way of expressing our feelings. I looked forward to it. I loved going out with him to different places, I really did, but there was nothing better than just being with him at home. As if we were living together. Which was something I had been thinking about recently, so much so that I wanted it to happen. I craved for the moment that we became not just boyfriend and girlfriend, but living together as well. It seemed so perfect, so much better than what we already had. I would be with him every day. There would be no more bus, train or car journeys to see each other. All I would have to do was wake up, to find him lying next to me, or return home as the day is finishing and be greeted at the door by him. It sounded amazing. It sounded like something I really wanted to happen.
But, there was a problem. As always, there was a problem that I could not get round. I was going to University. He was not. University meant distance.
I would be far away from where he lived. He would still be at his home, and I would be halfway across the country, so far away that travelling could only be an option at weekends, or maybe only holidays. If that. I would be busy doing a degree, and he would be busy working. I couldn’t stay at home for university as it was too far away, so there was no other option but to move into the building instead, for the whole three years it would take. Three years was a long time though. Three years was three times as long as we had been together. I could not survive without him for three days, yet alone three years.
I hadn’t really thought about it as much before, but now it was horribly visible in my mind. I was going to see so little of him that it would be almost like we weren’t even going out. In my absence he might find someone else, a new future wife for him. A new ‘one’. Then I would be left, far over the country, without anything I had strived so hard to get to.
I doubted he would though. We were made for each other, I was sure about that. I would never stray, and so I hoped he wouldn’t either.
There was always the phone. But, even though I could hear him, I would not be able to see him. There was the internet, letters...so many forms of communication, but none of them good enough. I had grown so used to seeing him every day that this sudden change was going to destroy me inside. I would find it hard to get to grips with. I don’t think I would ever get used to it. Of course, after university we could return to our normal state, but it might be too late by then. We might be different people, and I might just not work.
I was scared, to tell the truth. I hadn’t really talked to him about it. If I told him, it would confirm it. That it was happening. And I didn’t want it to. I desperately tried to convince myself that it was just an idea and nothing more, and of course nothing would come of it. It didn’t work. I knew it was real. I knew that, whatever happened, we would end up separated.
It was the fourth of June, a Saturday. My work had finished early, and I was ready to see him again. My room was spotless, my family were out of the house for the weekend, and I was as happy as I could be, taking into account that I now had a time to dread. Any minute now he would arrive in his car, driving down from where he lived. He rarely used his own car, but today he did. We were independent of everything today. It was all about us, and nothing else.
When I saw his car park in the driveway I was already at the door. I had it opened by the time he had locked up his car. As he walked towards me I mirrored him, and we met halfway. He held me, and I tightened my arms around him.
“Happy anniversary!” I whispered it, suddenly hit with a wave emotion as I realised just how long we had been together. We had reached that first big milestone. Proof that we might just work.
“I love you, so much.”
“I love you too. Come inside?”
As we walked inside I spoke to him again. “We weren’t getting presents for each other, right?”
“Yeah, we had a £200 budget, don’t you remember?”
“What?!” I felt panicked at forgetting such a thing. “Really?”
“No, fool! I’m joking. We weren’t getting each other anything, silly. You’re so gullible sometimes, you know.”
“Shut up!” I laughed with him, at my own stupidity. “Good I didn’t get you anything then, I guess. Though I did get us some chocolates for the film...”
“I got something small as well. It’s not that big.”
“Oh, what is it?”
“No, tell me!”
“Not just yet. I’ll explain later.”
“Please?” I tried my best ‘cute’ face, but it obviously didn’t work.
“Let’s watch the film, yes?”
Halfway through the film I was still being bugged by what he had got me. I was intrigued. I decided to bring up the subject subtly. “So...what’s this, um...thing then?”
“What thing?” He had a look in his eyes that told me he knew exactly what I was talking about.
“Oh, that...” He sighed. “I guess I can tell you now.”
“Yay! What is it?”
“Well, it’s more of a request than an object, to be honest.”
I was confused. “How can you get someone a request?”
“Just listen. Over the past few months I’ve been thinking, and we’re not going to see each other much while you’re at university, are we?”
“No.” I looked down, upset at the thought.
“Well, I had an idea. You see, I’ve been saving up a lot of money, from my job mainly, and Christmas and my birthday, and well, I think that, well...”
“You think what?”
“Will you move in with me?”
I held my breath, speechless. I didn’t know what to say. Would it really work?
“I have more money than you think. Not loads, but enough. We could get a place near where you’re going to university, so you could live with me while you’re doing your course. Then we could still see each other every day, Properly, as well. No more transport issues or anything getting in the way. We could come home to each other every day, go to sleep and wake up together...”
It was like he had been reading my mind. He spoke as if he knew my thoughts. Everything I had been contemplating he had just given to me on a plate, so easy to take.
“So...What do you think?”
“I think you’re amazing! Do you really mean it?”
“Of course I do. I want it to happen. But I need to know you do as well.”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes. I’ve been thinking about it for so long, but I didn’t think it was possible. I thought we’d have to spend that three years apart, only seeing each other occasionally, and to be honest I don’t think I could’ve coped for so long without you.”
“I have as well. But this way, we can see each other all the time. We never have to leave each other. Forever.”
“Forever is what I want. Thank you. I love you. This is possibly the best present you could have got me. But...” I paused, returning into reality or a moment. “...What if our parents say no? Or we run out of money? Or it just doesn’t work?”
“It will work. I will make it work, for you. If we both want it enough, then we can make it work. And as for our parents, they have no say on it. We’re technically adults now. We can live where we want.”
“You think it’ll work then?”
“I have every confidence in it. I’m looking forward to it already.”
“When can we move then?” University was less than three months away.
“August! It may be soon, but I reckon we can sort it all out before then. We’ll be just in time so that you can settle in before going to university, and I can find a job. It will work. I’m determined to make it.”
“Wow.” My dream was soon becoming a reality. I was soon to be living with him, my one and only, away from all the troubles of our teenage relationship. We were entering a new realm, an exciting realm, where everything was dependent on us, rather than the other way round. And I liked the sound of that. “I can’t wait already. Can we just go now?”
He laughed. “No, we have our anniversary to celebrate first. Happy anniversary!”