Holding my hand,
His fingers entwined with mine.
I lean against him,
My head resting on his shoulder
As we sit together in harmony.
His other hand runs through my hair
And he turns me around to face him,
Looking into my eyes
Like no one has before.
And as I look back into his,
I'm lost, forever.
I got to see him again the weekend after the Tuesday I had spent with him at the cinema. There was another party coming up, and this time I didn’t need it as a release, because I had nothing to escape from. I had it instead as an opportunity to improve upon my friendship with him. He was going, I was going, and so were our friends. And this time, I did not have to leave until the morning, and so my goodbyes would not be spoken until the next day. I had so much time to be with him – to talk to him, and just generally get to know him even more. I was loving the amount of attention I was receiving, and what made it even better was that it was all mutual. We were both making the same amount of effort, and it worked so well. So much better than how everything had been previously, when all my efforts had filled up what had otherwise been empty from the other person’s attempts.
Before the party, I was scheduled to meet him in town, after work, up until six, where he would come back to my house for dinner. He had never been round mine before, and so I was looking forward to it. We would then drive to the party from there, with a couple of other friends, and hopefully arrive by eight at the latest. I did not mind what time we got there though, as I was already with him, and that was all that mattered.
I met him in the coffee shop from before, and we sat on the sofas furthest away from the door. I ordered a cappuccino again; he ordered a latte. The man, the one who I had noticed from before as well, came over with our orders, and smiled at me, as if he recognised me. I was not with my poetry book this time, but someone I had never been with before in such a place, and so his smile continued as he left, but he did not say anymore.
I found it curious, how, looking at him now, I could still see his attractiveness ,but it was not as pronounced. I did not think about him in quite the same way, seeing him instead as just a regular coffee shop guy giving out orders to the customers. He was not the him that was sitting beside me, the him that I wanted more. The him that had replaced one, and truly done well at the job. Even though he was not really mine yet, I was hoping that something some day may happen. It all depended though on whether I was ready to accept the consequences that came with it.
I leaned against him, holding my cappuccino in both hands. His arm was around my shoulder, and we lay there, in quiet solitude, while the drinks slowly disappeared. We talked to each other loosely, discussing various things, but we did not have a lengthy conversation like on the phone, as just being able to sit together was something of a novelty. When the drinks were gone, we left again, thanking the man who had given us our drinks, and walked back the bus station, his arm still around me in the cold weather.
The bus we got on had few people on it, and so we sat at the back, happy that we could be just with each other again. We had had a lucky day, finding most people around us tended to wither away and leave as we approached. Not because of us, but more because it seemed we were supposed to be like that. I felt that everything that had happened was building up to something and I hoped that it was what I thought it might be.
The bus journey was fairly short, but gave us enough time to find out more about each other. We were still hiding in the unknown when it came to ourselves, knowing various pieces of information, but not enough to satisfy. I wanted to know everything about him, from his past, through his present and eventually up to his future. He felt the same about me, and so we could have easily spent the whole day talking to each other about everything we wanted to know.
When the bus stopped outside my house, he let me go first, holding my hand loosely as we walked down the aisle. He carried my bag for me, surprising me as I was not used to such courtesy, and walked me to my house, guided by myself. When we got inside I gave him a brief tour, before we went up to my room to put his stuff down.
He did something that surprised me, but made me laugh, as we settled in my room. I had many pillows positioned throughout, and as I turned to face him, I was greeted by a light blow to the head from him and his weapon of choice. Laughing, I retaliated, until we had worn both of ourselves out from our pillow fight. We collapsed on my bed, and lay facing each other, continuing the conversation we had been holding earlier on the bus.
“So, can I ask you some more questions?”
“Of course, what do you want to know?”
He paused, his mind searching for something interesting that he could find out about me. “Hmm...Okay. What have your previous relationships been like?”
I smiled, knowing full well that he would ask something similar to that, and not knowing quite what to say. “Well, there have been a couple. A lot of insignificant ones before my last one. And that one was, well...it failed, really. Though, I don’t regret it. I learnt a lot from it, to be honest. I try not to look negatively at such things.”
He nodded, and looked straight into my eyes. I noticed how his eyes, not sparkling blue but a deep brown colour, were easy to get lost in. I stared back for several moments, thinking about him combined with me, and what it would entail.
“And how did your last relationship fail?”
“Ah, you can’t ask that yet, it’s my turn now.” We had been playing 20 questions since just after we had met in town, and we still weren’t out of questions to ask. “Okay...What were your previous relationships like?”
“Well...There haven’t been many, really. None of them have been completely important. Longest one was about three months, I reckon. Nothing serious. I’m still waiting to find that ‘special someone’ everyone goes on about.”
There was something about him that made me want to pull him closely and hug him, forever, never letting go. I didn’t quite know what it was, but I was trying hard to resist. “Okay, you’re question.”
“Again, why did your last relationship fail?”
“There was not enough communication, I think. Or action. It was all in our heads. We rarely spent time together, and when we did, it was just as friends. It never got anywhere. And although it was good at the start, it just didn’t seem to follow through like that.”
“Communication is important, yes.” I agreed with him, so much. We, already, had shared a lot more communication that I ever had done before, which, considering we were not in a relationship, could be perceived as quite a lot of effort.
“Is it my question now?” He nodded. “Ah, I can’ think of one! Help me out here!”
Our questions kept on coming until we stopped for a moment ,on his question, and studied each other. His face was perfection to me. His eyes I was lost in, his lips were enticing, and his face was just generally positive and happy. I liked that. He managed to put a smile on my face without even saying or doing anything.
I noticed how he was studying my face so closely. He brought his eyes down from my eyes to my lips, where they stayed there, just looking. He seemed almost tempted by them. I spoke, to stop the silence.
“It’s your question still.”
“ I know.” He paused again, before speaking. “Are you a good kisser?”
I smiled, and pushed my lips out slightly before answering. “Maybe you should find out...” Then I leaned forward, closer to his face, and placed my lips on his, showing him the answer to his suggestive question.
During dinner he had been stroking my foot gently with his. I couldn’t stop smiling; for after we had kissed he had asked me out, and I had said yes, euphoric that what I was waiting for had finally happened. When we got in the car with my friend he held my hand, and this time instead of being vague he held it with confidence, like he wanted the world to know that I was his girlfriend. My friend said nothing, but we both knew that she had sussed what was going on. I was looking forward to the party even more now that I was in a relationship with him, as we could be truly together, breaking down all barriers. I was excited for what was going to come of this.
The party was already started by the time we got there, and as I knew people from the last one, I didn’t have to go round introducing myself again. He held my hand the whole time we were there. We talked to others, had a drink or two and generally enjoyed ourselves. The fact that he was there as my new other half made everything even brighter than it would have been.
When it got to the evening, and everyone was settling down, we found an available space on the floor to sleep on. We lay down, me with my arm over his chest, and him with both arms round my shoulders. He held me tight, kissing me occasionally, and we talked. Talked about everything. Our 20 questions game continued, and did not stop until late. I fell asleep with him several hours later, and just knowing he was there made all the difference to my mood. This was one night that could not possibly have gone any better.