The Fear

(It's a slam poem) "Smile. Lips. Teeth. Grin. Laugh. Sound. I love you. Hands. Warm. Ears Voice. Why aren't you mine? I see you in a sea of bright lights. You're laughing, laughing, big grin on your face and I wonder- wonder... Why aren't you mine?"

Smile. Lips. Teeth. Grin. Laugh. Sound. I love you. Hands. Warm. Ears Voice. Why aren’t you mine? I see you in a sea of bright lights. You’re laughing, laughing, big grin on your face and I wonder- wonder…Why aren’t you mine? Why aren’t you mine? I love you and you can’t see with your brilliant bright eyes. I love you.

Run. Feet slap. Shoes pound. Arms pump. Run. Humming, restless, struggling-breathe. Gasp, pant, wheeze, shuffle, just breathe. Air. Clean. Fresh. Oxygen. Lungs heave, heart beats, I’m alive. Mouth open, eyes clenched, chest rattles. I will live. Ears listen, wind whispers, nose smells, fingers grasp. I want to live.

Run. Run. Run away little rabbit.

Hate. Fear. Reject. Understand. Love. Denial. No, no, I won’t. Don’t- not allowed- don’t love.

She breathed, and her breath was lightning- electrifying, leaving her lungs as blackened, dead things. She wheezes, and they twitch weakly before breaking away. They wallow in her blood, slowly re-inflating.

Love. Love. Love. I love you. Love me. Love. Me.LOVE ME.

Please.

She felt as though her voice was too sharp, too saturated for the things that she wanted to say.

Everything about him seemed to be in poor shape. Except for his eyes. They were a richer brown than she had ever seen. Bright, shining, they were gorgeous and snatched the breath from her lungs.

Cold. Cold. Cold. So cold. So very cold. Please, bring me the sun.

I’m begging you.

She sighed, her breath coming out in small, white puffs that squeeze out between her mitted hands. Her cheeks are splotchy and red- unattractive, but endearing.

She gasped-breathing desperately, chest heaving with anxious breaths. Her heart beat like a rabbit’s. Fast. A quick, staccato drum against her ribcage. The fear lingered.

Easy, easy, don’t make this hard. Bloody lungs. Aching heart. Please, no, don’t make this too hard.

She could see herself reflected in his eyes and felt disgust well up inside of her. It clung to her insides like thick. Black. Tar. Hot, it burned a path from her stomach to her throat where it stopped. She choked on it, a dry, thin rasping sound escaping her mouth. She ran.

Love. Love. Let me love you. Please. Let me love. Bring back the sun. Let me go. Please I love you.

The End

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