Lost . . . at Long Last (For Dad)

there are some people you don't need in your life after meeting them. For Dad, it was his Mother.

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Grandma Deb
was never a mom.
So I met her when my Dad did,
at 10 and 25.
We took a weekend
and drove the
highways lined with fields.
Followed it's needless bends
to Grandma Debs duplex.
Where we waited,
10 minutes for her to get home.
When she showed up
she asked dad
to get the beer from the back seat
while she unlocked the door.
After dad's second trip
they got settled
at the kitchen table
They played Poker,
taught me quarters,
and laughed up beers.
My Dad longed for this.
I stole his smile that day.
But, it was time for me
to go to bed.
When dad couldn't see
the oven's clock
through the smoke and moonlight haze. When they woke up
we went to the zoo.
I'm sure we saw a menagerie,
but all I remember is
the parking lot where
we hugged our goodbyes.
And her still hand
out over the roof of her car.
We took the expressway home.
It was straight and took
half the time.
Dad left her a voice-mail
to tell her we were safe.
And he left another on Tuesday
to ask how she was doing.
And countless voice-mails
over countless days.
Until he couldn't do it anymore.
When he found out what a mom is.

And I think, Grandma Deb wanted to be a mom
But then she realized

she hadnt earned it yet

and never bothered to try


The End

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