Losing The WayMature

Something is taking over me
I can't even speak fluently in my own language anymore
I can't think
I can't process
And I feel the one thing I hold closest to me being slipped away
My intelligence
It is the one thing that I have prided myself on through the years
And little by little, I feel it slip away
My comprehension is dying
My memory is fading
But the worst part is I can't seem to diagnose
my own fucking though process
My attention to detail is deteriorating
and the words I say no longer have the impact they should
I can't tell if it's just an illusion I've casted
or if it's genuine
But I feel like I'm dying on the inside

It's not the measure of how much you know
It's about your ability to learn
And concepts that should easily stand out
become difficult to find once they're pointed out
I hate this feeling
And I hate not even being able to think of
what it is that I'm actually wanting to say

I've been writing for an hour
and whatever's stuck in my head
won't get the fuck out
No matter how much free flow I do
I'm completely stuck
But I don't know if this is just me bitching
Or if I'm close to a breaking point
A point where I won't be me anymore

One day I'll probably read over all these again
And I'll never be able to imagine
how I was who I was

Hell, I think it's already starting

The End

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