life is beautiful

the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life,
would be that time when I was twelve
and I fell off a treadmill,
resulting in four three degree burns
where I near well sanded my legs down to the bone.
I limped around for nearly six months after,
and to this day,
though I train for marathons
and run the rubber belts often,
my heart still skips a beat
every time my feet slip
a little.

But as painful and traumatic as that was,
it is a scratch, a pin prick,
when held next to missing you.

It's less painful than the night
when in your sleep while cuddling me
you punched me in the face
and pushed me out of bed,
and I ended up on the floor.
But you woke me up with kisses and coffee,
and I want you to know
you could sleep-beat me black and blue
but there's no one I'd rather have in my bed
than you.

Your hands fit mine like a glove,
and even though it's summertime,
the tips of my fingers still feel numbed
without the warmth of your love.

You had this reassuring way
of stroking my back,
at the end of a long day
I'd be able to crawl, sobbing into your arms
and you'd hold me,
as if you didn't have anywhere better to be,
as if you didn't wish for some laughing babe
while I covered your clothes in my blubbering.
Before you fell asleep, you'd whisper
that you loved me,
and in the morning you'd wake up
and re-cap your words,
kissing my neck and calling me beautiful,
and despite the bed-head and the morning breath,
I believe it.

You are my rock.
My moods swing out of control
like a self-propelled teeter-totter
bouncing up and down
with me clinging to the seat.
And I know that the upswings feel like paradise
and the lows are deeper than the floor of the sea,
but you're always there,
waiting for me with out-stretched arms
when I finally find my way off.

And I have to say,
the most painful thing I've ever felt in my life
is missing you,
but it's the kind of pain I know
will only bring happiness.
I used to think life was good,
but I've learned to view life as beautiful.
Life is damaged and life is ugly,
but it's life, and in its entirety,
it shines.
You've taught me that.
And so I know
no matter what I'm going through,
in these lonely nights when I toss and turn
my blankets into knots,
soon, I'll be back with you,
and you'll be able to push me out of bed again
for the cost of your cuddling.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

The End

0 comments about this poem Feed