On the brink of adulthood, everyone is obsessed with my future.
"Have you decided on a school yet?" they ask.
"What job do you want after college?" "Where...? What...? How..?"
The persistent drone of seemingly trivial questions numbs my mind.
I couldn't understand their expressions when I respond, "No, I don't know."
Their faces drop and as they turn away, I catch this look in their eyes.
They look sad and disappointed, as if I let them down.
I didn't understand why everyone else was so excited about the future.
Now I understand that I'm different from them.
They imagine better times and great opportunities when they look forward,
But when I look forward, I see darkness, vast nothingness.
The truth is, I can't picture myself beyond college
Because I don't expect to live that long.