p.s. i <3 this
There is a heavy darkness blanketing my world,
I see these streets with filtered, jaded eyes
brilliance is a privilege my soul no longer emanates,
Feeling is fleeting,
My heart is beating but it makes no sound...
My lungs are breathing involuntarily, if they didn't, I'm not sure I would beg them to do their job.
My only purpose here is to dispose of my bones beneath blankets,
Seeking warmth and tranquility, but only finding a never-ending store of headaches and tears,
This is the result of wasted years.
I spent them, knowing what I wanted to be,
when everyone I met kept saying, 'The sky's the limit!'
They said 'your smile glitters like the stars,' the stars I want to rest among someday.
To all my wellwishers I owe an apology,
Because quite frankly, I have fallen flat in a grave that I've dug myself.
I can fill graveyards with my motivations and dreams and goals,
You are filling library shelves with all the ways that I have surprised, disappointed, and left you unsatisfied.
This scrawl, like so much else of late, I have lost the energy to finish it, I could have thought of it, mapped it out, loved it,
But here I am, yet again, leaving you.
I litter, covering the ground near my hovel with the corpses of my attempts to greet the 'morrow....
a once fertile page, now stripped of promise, clings to my nerveless fingers where they lie...