My life lies away from here, under the blue and into the sea.
Expanding, and it rose, the thorns burst skywards, we drown in silver.
Tarnished winds sweep,
Spiders legs creak,
A blister never healing,
Where the bullet melts the skin.
Empty eyes in the gloom
Never sleeping, ever noon,
I've been alive for so long,
I've forgotten that I am.
The dark stranger whispers in my ear, and there is no mistaking that voice...
We can only hear it ourselves, when we are all that is there...
Can we be someone, that isn't ourselves, will you be me dancing?
Arachnids in the summer, shine with their body legs,
Swapping and shifting, the zig zag wanders,
The patterns they don't delay, the every night they kiss us,
The spiders in the night. With their jaws clamped in our iris.
crush... me. --- No longer a cowboy, but the damned man in distress.
I inhale. Gasp. Sharply.
Salt water thunders across my tongue.
Immediately, I am aware the decision was wrong.
My throat rejects the medicine, for the remedy was not air.
As my body flaps through the seastorm, I clatter against shrapnel.
In air. A moment. In the... Tumble. Struggle. Splutter. Face cracks hard.
Salt licks the wound, kissing the ribbon of flesh that had once been my nose.
Instinctly I yelp, the whirlpool filling my lungs again, swimming into the vortex of fingers.
crushed... --- No longer drowning...
Wind whips in to my mouth.
Shot down like drink in a desert.
Nanushka, run, the spiders we leave behind, all the tiny monsters that creep up, the winds that peel back our mouths and shoot pocks in our skin. We breathe some kind of calamity, some narcotics are diffused, I'm just used, just wanted, just never needed. Nanushka, run. Leave me far behind, and in your crush of velvet, I'll feel my body in the tide. The words that won you over, will now leave you to wither, dried and decayed, I find ill content in English winter. I drive and wind down country roads, some cities stay, some cities go. I lose all rhythm, and I don't really care. I find some comfort in the truths I tell, and some just leave a scar.
I miss you dearly.
I love you so.
I never meant to let you go.
I think I've ruined my life.
I think the time has come.
I'm not old enough to be a father.
I'm not young enough to be a son.
Oh, Nanushka... just run.
And in the crush of winters, the snow tide takes me away, I never meant to let you go, I was never going to stay,
I will sing the words that tonight will bring, the bridges burnt, decayed, but forever sits still in my mouth, until you come back my way.
The sea carves itself around me, I am trapped in its copious wake, the cityscape surrounds me, but I'm too little to be late.
Run, Nanushka run, before I fall in love,
I don't want to see you cry.