I am bound.
In a cage of utter despair.
Too weary to lift my hand to the bars to test their strength.
Fake smiles take my breath away, its killing me.
I see nothing but my own dirt, my hands are red.
The laughter, the tears, the smiles, its all a facade.
They can't see what is killing me inside.
Nor would they understand.
I just want to hide, hide away for it all.
I hate this cage, I hate freedom, I hate the soul trapped within.
I yearn to be free, I yearn to be bound.
Cages are safe, I am not searching for who I am in them.
Oh why can't I just be happy!
Fear fills my throat, at the thought of never escaping.
A last ditch effort ends with my hands scraping my own skin.
I don't pound on the bars.
I don't yell for help.
Punishing the person who I don't know anymore.
Going down, endless torment.
I have no strength to smile anymore, people are starting to notice.
But I don't care, I don't bat an eyelid.
Let me worry, let them be scared, let them try to rescue me.
I alone hold the key, nobody can free me.
So I wait.
Dying to live.
Not knowing what I want anymore.
They scream for me to try, try to escape.
But I sit with my head in my hands, tearless eyes red-rimmed.
Soul-sick and weary of this world.
The voices are screaming.
Darkness all around, there is no glint of freedom now.
I have dug my grave, I have given in.
The demons eat at my soul, creating a numb interior.
As I sit with my head in my hands.
Longing to tear myself to pieces.
Hating the my very being, my very heart.
I hear a voice.
Its not like all the others, that constantly dim my mind.
Its small, the sound of light, the sound of hope.
I lift my eyes to the sky, the dark stormy sky.
Wanting to put down my shamefilled eyes, but still I search.
I search for something I do not know.
But then I know.
I stumble up, banging against the bars.
Screaming LET ME BE FREE! FREE ME I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!
The dark assailants scoff, they laugh at my cries.
Saying I will never escape their hold.
I cry, and cry, and cry.
Then I see it, I see it.
The demons stop, and start to come upon me.
Drawing me back, pulling me to the cage.
But I fight.
Light comes into the cage, warm soft light.
Flashing swords, I drop to my knees.
Fearing the pure air I feel.
The air clears, I look about me.
Those that tortured me stare at me with lifeless eyes.
Then I shakily look up.
Those eyes, staring at me with such love.
It hurts my scarred and dirty heart.
I look down again, just as He kneels.
He leans over, and lifts my chin.
His eyes have pity, but they sparkle with anticipation.
Run away with me He whispers anxiously.
I look about, my cage, my irons, my powerless captors.
Back into His eyes I see my reflection.
But what I see is not what I see in His eyes.
I am perfect in that reflection.
So I wearily lift my arms, as He lifts me up.
I hide in His cloak, breathing in the peace.
We leave the cage.
I leave and don't look back.
I'm looking into His precious eyes the entire time.
That's when I know.
Everything is going to be alright.