je souhaite avons eu éternité

thing that i half-wrote on october 26th

man cedilles are hard to type

this is crappy agh

mamie smiles, 
eyes crinkling at corners

she says
"Viens ici, mon chère."

and i do, 
i sit across from her
on that paisley couch i used to hate

she holds out a bowl,
old orange one, chipped at the edges

it contains little Snickers bars, 
roughly twice the size of my thumbnail

and i take one, 
fingers closing around it
and she leans towards me,

and says
"Bouh!"

i wrap my arms
around her shoulders,
frail yet strong

and she gives me that smile again:

the one that says,
here is material comfort

and it's like she knows everything
wise old mamie

her hands curl around mine, 
she says, 
"Tu est très..."

then, she tilts her head
like she is searching for my soul,

and she tells me i am good. 

"Tu est bon," she says, 
l
ike a praise, like an assessment

i repeat it,
taken off guard

"Bon?" 

she closes her eyes, 
skin translucent and trespassed by veins

i lay my hands over hers
and tell her "J'aime tu. J'aime Fr
ançais."

as though i need to assure her
e
ven though i can see heaven in her eyes

and we sit there, 
mamie and petite-fille, 
no english for us

i revel in the power of language

and then my mother enters the room
and our words are lost. 

i stand up, bid her goodbye, 
and stare at the ads as we pass them on the streets everywhere

suddenly
i curse my tendency 
for simple sentence structure
in French.

The End

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