I've been working on a jailbreak
Keep it calm with the fast pace
Any moment 'til the day breaks
No more time to get to know you
- Jailbreak, Awolnation
because i am something other than what i used to be,
plaid-flannel shirts and annotation-socks
love for reptiles and thin breaths in morning air
i don't know what i was,
all those years ago.
small and wide,
much like i am now
but pillowed with baby fat.
i know that i have friends,
and i still have bad days and good days,
and i know that whoever i am is okay.
i guess i knew, to some extent.
but it still feels like a
sucker-punch to the gut
when i realized
that i'm never going to
be fully free from depression.
there's no fix-it cure,
no immediate gratification
or backup options.
it's just me
i'm trying, god knows,
but i'm also an atheist -
i guess my assurances are useless.