I've forgotten how It feels, To let all my emotions run from my sleeves
I sit growing tired, breathing irregular, as my queasy stomach heaves
Out the poison thats filled my lungs, and I still can't breathe
It's searing through my body because I still can't believe.
I'm leaning over water and watching the spreading ripples
As Drops land on it's surface, Each dagger triples
To stab deep when I remember a flash of dimples
I imagine colour filling the bathtub, I raise trembling pimples
Across skin that Is desensitised and cold shocked numb
Too many hands that have touched, I am cheap and I am dumb
To have believed each time was the last, to say I was done
With forgiving and forgetting all those who stole and left and won.
I've forgotten what it felt like, to think of all that time
That I revelled in that for me, you wanted to commit such a crime
As to cut down the one you lifted high, for me to stumble to a climb
To somewhere I can't believe I thought I'd reach, So I'm...
Locking back the dangerous thoughts that made me feel this way
I take them out when I'm alone and look at what I broke and say
This will weigh down my shoulders, and there will not be a day
When I don't struggle to force these truths down, because I know I have to pay...
I've forgotten how It feels, not to play pretend and hide
I've forgotten how It feels, not to think of this and have cried
I've forgotten how it feels, not to take your name in my stride
But what I know I wont forget, Is for you, only you, I tried.