I've forgotten how It feels, To let all my emotions run from my sleeves

I sit growing tired, breathing irregular, as my queasy stomach heaves

Out the poison thats filled my lungs, and I still can't breathe

It's searing through my body because I still can't believe.

I'm leaning over water and watching the spreading ripples

As Drops land on it's surface, Each dagger triples

To stab deep when I remember a flash of dimples

I imagine colour filling the bathtub, I raise trembling pimples

Across skin that Is desensitised and cold shocked numb

Too many hands that have touched, I am cheap and I am dumb

To have believed each time was the last, to say I was done

With forgiving and forgetting all those who stole and left and won.

I've forgotten what it felt like, to think of all that time

That I revelled in that for me, you wanted to commit such a crime

As to cut down the one you lifted high, for me to stumble to a climb

To somewhere I can't believe I thought I'd reach, So I'm...

Locking back the dangerous thoughts that made me feel this way

I take them out when I'm alone and look at what I broke and say

This will weigh down my shoulders, and there will not be a day

When I don't struggle to force these truths down, because I know I have to pay...

I've forgotten how It feels, not to play pretend and hide

I've forgotten how It feels, not to think of this and have cried

I've forgotten how it feels, not to take your name in my stride

But what I know I wont forget, Is for you, only you, I tried.

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