One glance, one singular piece of knowledge. Love can take whatever the world throws and turn it towards itself. This can be at the time most unexpected. What it doesn't answer is why the heart and soul come back to life and are broken just as before.
How can something that has already
Been diced and drawn and pulled apart
Begin to repeat the same mistakes,
That transgressive nature it was made for?
I remember it used to beat progressively;
Since you, my heart has been more random:
Chance, faith, abandon into every single space.
How can some part broken beyond belief
Come together – perfect – for an hour,
But crumble as the minutes dissolve,
Even when I told myself I wouldn’t-?
For the voice has no hold over
The calling heart.
My fatal essence is to dream of you;
Sense tells me I am meaningless to want
What little good has gone-
Still, I do.
How is it possible that I came to a juddering
Restart and then fell? In both directions.
This world is going mad: stops, starts,
Just as my heart stops, starts, stalls
Again. With thoughts and feelings unfound.
Give me a chance to live - and I won't
Take it. Every time I fracture, scars
Are mine, and ours in lines.
The dreadful building of a new headache
Cries, aghast and against my sanity,
That machine that has faltered,
Stemming from dissolution;
It aches, but proves I have nothing
More in action than
To doubt you with a doting,
To loathe you with the entirety of my love.
My happiest days are the ones
You leave me without,
My saddest days are their bitter twins.
To comprehend is to lose my mind
In your utter oblivion;
Your madness is mine, cause
To effect, and streaming down
Cries bitterness once more.
We whisper those droplet words-
They are fake and false friends to me.
When I didn't expect you,
I couldn't expect less
Until we 'meet again',
But when will those days reverse?
When the madness of my self takes all?
Yet, I must play the silent star:
I must let it burn my heart inside-out,
Because, at least in those final moments,
I'll know my redirected function
Was always that.
It is to love you eternally.