Is this it?

I've always been rational

Always known what's best

I knew what was important

And forgot the rest

But it's come to a point

Where I really don't know

Am I mad? Or just sad?

All these "skinny" thoughts

Although I love starvation

I've always known my limit

Where I need to stop

The food I'm not eating

But now it's gotten worse

I'm dizzy all the time

These self-destroying thoughts

They never leave my mind

No food for me, that's certain

Don't ask - I will refuse

And when I do eat something

I feel bad and confused

Sometimes I lose control

Over my empty plates

I binge, I break my promise

Bread, pizza, ice-cream, cakes

And a few minutes later

I'm sobbing on the floor

I call myself a failure

I say - No food, no more

So I continue starving

My friends stare angrily

I know that they're just jealous

Of what I chose to be

I smile and inhale deeply

The goal is crystal clear

I want to see my bones

Sticking out everywhere

Now I don't care how healthy

Or "beautiful" I am

Because I know what's best:

Not listening to them!

My knees are weak and shaking

My head is full of air

But I won't eat, in fact

I don't think I would dare

I know this is irrational

I know it's killing me

But that is what I want

So please, just let me be

The End

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