I used to think; I wanted Isolation,
I wanted Loneliness.
A lie. I realized -
It's not that I wanted it, no
I needed it. And -
I say - I do
Consumes vasts amounts of social energy, and -
It's exhausting. It tires me and I seek to be alone,
To recharge. To recover.
I know now - I should've have then -
I'm being tested. Purposely irritated to the point of exhaustion.
I get it. It's who I am. It's who I'll always be.
- Perhaps something more? Something else? Something I'm not proud of, but the need to recharge does make the loneliness less hurting.