Into the Vortex

I've struggled for a long time with fully understanding the forgiveness of God. I felt as though he couldn't possibly wash me clean and make me new, forgetting the wrong I had done, and it was hurting me inside. I feel I have finally come to understand the fullness of his grace. This poem reflects the feelings I used to have, particularly when the hurt spreads to others I care about.


Staring into the brightness of distant lamp on desk corner,

The whirr of life never dying,

Blowing through the window,

Rustling curtain,

Less obvious than the constant whirring inside.

There's a woman shouting in my head,

A mismatch crosshatch of

Thoughts and deeds mingle

In a noisy whisper, unrelenting,

Sinking feeling of unworthiness

Clings on my shirt and nestles in the wall of my

Chest, weighing down


Into the vortex

From one deed to rotten within,

Sin is sin



Gripping like a vice, a cruel device

Mostly self inflicted

Too much Merlot, a willing fellow,

Strangers, faces in the dark

But now familiarity is my downfall

The catastrophe ricochets

Between us, a crumbling chasm



Can we come back from this?

I've clambered back to my heavenly father,

But have I lost you?

The age of innocence is over

Regret and inferiority

Seeps into all my sinews

Am I unworthy of forgiveness?

Am I accepted in your sight?

A hopeless leaf pulled

By the smallest breeze

Off the path

Keep me steady, Lord

Lest I fall, and crack.

The End

3 comments about this poem Feed