Inner War

I'm having troubles. This is my heart, and my mind fighting each other. But this is love, guys. Hard to be logical with. My open mind, clear mind, argues about the man I love with all my heart, and I'm in the middle of the war.

Oh, how my heart begs my mind, oh, how it whimpers.

"Please, oh, please let me hear his voice. Let me listen to him laugh, speak, or whisper!"

My mind replies, rather brisk.

"No, you musn't speak to him just yet. We have yet to find a solution to all of this."

Oh, how my heart pleads to my mind.

"Please, please. I love him, with all of me. Please, its been long enough, enough time!"

My mind pities my heart, but refuses.

"No, we have not even decided what we need, our limits, boundaries.  We worry, stay faithful to something unconfirmed while he has the option to do as he chooses?"

Oh, how my heart needs him, aches.

"I need him, that's all I need.  Nothing is worth more than him, please, let's talk to him for our own sake!"

My mind is sympathetic, but nonetheless.

"Listen, listen to me. I know we love him, need him, that he helps and makes us happy. But, heart, he's hurt you too often, and you remained quiet. Now, the truth is out, and the pain is hard to bare. In this time, we must focus. Work towards a solution, and miss him less."

Oh, how my heart hurts, but cares not.

"You don't understand, yes, I am hurting, yes he did do it, and I wish I had stayed silent. What plagued me doesn't matter, its unimportant!"

My mind is not bothered, just a bit frustrated. 

"He did not bother to show how he cares, doesn't try to make this body smile, can't handle a real committed relationship because of the distance, treats you at times like an object, ignores you sometimes, dallies with other girls, and takes you for granted."

Oh how my heart seizes, how it wishes. 

"Please, I miss him.  He made me smile, made me laugh. He made me feel better, helped when I was sad.  He wanted to hold me, kiss me, he loves me, wants to listen."

My mind tries to be open, and clear.

"Heart, heart, listen here. I love him too, you know.  His cleverness, intelligence.  But for once, we must think of us, what's best. Your strings are effecting the body everywhere."

Oh how my heart can't help itself but tries to persuade for a new decision. 

"Please, I love him, long, yearn, for him. I love his lips, nose, eyes.  Body, face, voice. How kind, considerate, caring and loving his core can be. Please, I miss him."

My mind relates, it does, but takes a stand.

"I love his hands, eyes, form, words, thoughts, expressions.  How stern he can be, how his voice can be so strong. His ideas, theories, quirks. His amazing humor, wit, comments. I miss him too.  I do understand."

Oh, me, how lost I am forever to be.

My mind and heart argue, beg and bicker.

I miss the man I love.

I want to look into his sweet eyes.

I want to talk to him, whisper, to him, all the time.

My lips long for his, my hands yearn for him, ache to be in his arms, curled up, in a bed.

Lay my head down, to his heart, on his chest.

Maybe none of this would've happened, if not for the distance.

My body needs him.  I need him. I miss him. I love him.

But I need to talk, I need to come up with a solution.

I shouldn't ignore my heart's pain, it's agony, even though it wishes to.

But what if he suddenly stops loving? What if he's done, and hates me?

Worry, worry, worry. 

My heart, and mind make me fret.

Can't think, I'm lost.

Should I speak to him, without a plan? 

AT what cost?

My life, I bet,

Is it worth it?

Waiting, missing, aching, searching for a better choice?

So upset I can't even remember what I needed a break for.

I need sleep, maybe.  I'm so tired of my 

Inner war.

The End

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