In the Dark...

In the dark,
lids heavy,
I drift far away
To the place we used to be.
Again, alone, I wait for you there.

Leaded heart, thoughts wandering, confused...  
Clarity so far beyond reach.
Words and actions opposed.
Changed and unchanged, as I struggle to see...
What has been, what’s to be, where are you, where are we?

Drama queen?  Yes, perhaps.  But I think that I see...
You adrift on your way to anyone other than me.
Choices made?  No regrets? No. All fear and some shame.  
Yet tendrils of hope still prevail…

That you are the man I perceived.

That letting you in wasn’t wrong.   
But now, just a burning desire for all to be right...  
To go back to a place

Where we loved and you cared.

Reality brings a bitter sting of loneliness to flow down my cheeks

Just sitting here,

Waiting to know.  

Anticipation reeking of stale desire, tempered with dread and heartbreak.  
What is to come?  What’s to be?  Who will blink first?  
Where is my line in the sand?
Or has the tide simply come and washed it away?  
Can I let this go on, though it tears me apart?  
When the tears far outnumber the smiles...  
Am I asking too much for what’s past to be now?

Just let me back in your heart.  
How far did I fall?  Left here alone on the floor.

Just how much farther to go?
Scrounging around for each shard of my heart, as you dig for another excuse.
I don't want you to go...  Not sure I can stay… 

When I can't fathom a life barren of you.
But I can't be the only one who tries.
All I wanted was you.

Clearly, too much to ask

When life always seems in the way.

Please see the mess this has made of me, now that the blinders are off.
I'm sorry it hurts you to hear what I say.
But you haven't been here when I needed you most…

Left abandoned… broken…

I don't doubt that you care, but that isn’t enough

When I feel like you’d let me drown.

Toss me a line?  Save me from myself?


Or just watch as I fade from your life…

The End

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