Just exposing my feelings for a sophomore girl I met on the track team.
"You're my favorite freshman"
Words uttered and words I took in
My feelings erupted without a cause, with no affect
But to no avail it was not the same
My heart maimed
The thoughts engraved
and the moments I spend are forever saved
But the one thing that keeps me from touching the soft pale hands
of a soul that stops time and pauses my life, is that she is in fact
In love, with another man.
Now, granted I am of color but that doesn't stop me.
Why should it?
The color of her skin I cannot see
I am blind to everything except, her hair
The short hair that you can still catch blowing in the wind
That smile that can warm even the coldest of my days
And brighten even the darkest of my nights.
I drank with her and we stumbled up the street.
I holding her close to me and we laugh, our eyes meet.
The creases that form on her white cheeks
Her fingers find their way across my waist
I feel her grasp she tries to hold herself up.
Finally, we get into the room, spill a container of rubber bands
We fall...but then
We layed drunken in the bed holding hands
But the thing is she is in love, with another man
I have not yet told her about that night.
Thing is she does not remember it.
It eats at me as I cry
My days and nights grow colder
Not because of winter no
But it is because of the fact that I can't tell her that
I love her as much as she loves him as much as he loves her
as much as I lover her...back.
Not because I'm scared, but it is because
adversely...she does not love me, crap.
We wake up and I leave, I give her a hug
The times we had
will only end in hangovers, Advil, and rest
I sit in my own bed and wonder why God?
She is perfect for me, I thought I found love
I thought I would be her number one fan
I sit outside and light a cigarette in the night
The tears from my eyes fall out of sight
Because in fact she is in love, with another man.