a poem I wrote a while back straight from my heart
~I'll Be Loving You~
Everyday beneath this sky,
I walk alone, and wonder why
I know what I have to do,
but I do not want to release you.
Memories that do not fade…
They are only stored away
to resurface at irrelevant times
when his heart tries to reach for mine.
Subjects come, and subjects go.
Even the future, we pretend to know.
But sometimes I can’t bear to see
anyone else but you with me.
To have what never was
would all be a dream, because
you do not know of this fantasy,
the sweet concept of you and me.
I try to see you every night
just like always, by my right.
That bad boy smile, you could have fooled me.
The sweetness behind it had broken free.
Then the vision, sometimes so real,
turns its next beautiful wheel.
I remember those eyes, I think, the most.
Their azure beauty haunts me like a ghost.
Love and pain. They are both the same,
unremitting like blood from an open vein.
Someone pull me away from here.
I can not bear another falling tear.
The night of the day I lost my last true chance,
I dreamt of holding you as we danced.
By the force of reality, I was pulled away.
My pillow was sodden by the wake of day.
You saved me from the impossible:
a love that was virtually unstoppable.
For that I will never regret,
but still, I want to take back the moment
When I realized without a doubt
I could not go on living without
admitting what I truly knew---
I was intensely and dangerously in love with you.
If there ever comes a day
when dawning on you is a prismatic ray,
tell me so I’ll know what to expect.
But what you tell me is what I will do next.
Run, or stay. Either way, I'll cry.
Your decision will paint me like a dye
of colors blended, either light or dark.
Regardless, you will never leave my heart.
So again, I’ll tell the patient air
what it is my heart still bears.
I know what is the utter truth:
at least for a while, I’ll be loving you.