If Only You Knew

Where do I want to go?

Where do I want to be?

 

Well, there's a castle in a city, far far away.  

There's a fantasy romance awaiting me. 

There's a flower inside of me dying to bloom, 

and I know I could be a firecracker explosion soon, but...

 

Going means leaving.  

Going means no more me and you

curled up like brackets, facing each other,

a complete thought, an inside joke,

a parenthesis, a protection, a bond so strong it can be broke

with nothing but words.

 

I am told I must think carefully,

I must make decisions for me.

I am pushed and pulled, 

instructed I must go,

in order to be truly happy.

 

Truth is, with you, I feel complete.

With you, it does not matter if my life is a fairy tale fantasy,

for you are my prince.

It does not matter if I can't live my dream,

because you are a far better reality.

If I could, I would trail you around the world like a puppy,

glad to sleep in a ditch every night

if it meant I could glimpse your smile when I rise.

 

I am told if I stay, I will not grow,

but you are the sun beneath which I unfold.

If I could pick a career, I would say without fear

being your darling dear

is all I'll ever need.

 

However, you are a human, you have wants and dreams 

that may no longer include me.

For relationships are like shoes,

they grow old and worn,

abused and used,

and don't feel right

as the feet within them stretch and change, 

and sometimes have to be discarded along the way.

But, I can stand here and say

I would walk barefoot the rest of the my days

in life's jagged journey if it meant

a fraction of it would be spent

with you, running beside me.

 

 

I miss the days

when I told you I would stay

your face lit up in a glitter gaze.

I no longer know if you want me away,

if you'd rather I return to my land of mirth.

A place believed to have beckoned me since birth.

I know you can't make my mind up for me,

I know this choice is mine to carry,

and I choose to lay it at your feet.

Because, when it all comes down to it, I love you.

Because, home is where your heart leads,

and for you my heart alone beats.

 

How am I supposed to decided completely for me,

when without you, I am not complete?

The End

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