If Only, If Only

I still love you
Is that wrong?
I still wish for you
Is that bad?

I am afraid I will never feel that way again
That way I felt at the sound of your voice
Yet I'm afraid what we had was false
Just based on theory not feeling

It is your arms I want around me
Your face I long to see
Your lips I yearn to kiss
Your body I need by mine

I feel like years have passed
Since we last talked
But I look back, shocked to find
I can't even call it "months"

These admissions scared me
As you could be reading them right now
But I take comfort in knowing
You do not know I am me

I fear for our future
Do you still also?
I fear for our past
Does it haunt you too?

You invade all my thoughts; I wonder
Where you are
Who you're with
If you're happy

Those hateful things you say
You can't really mean them
They are not meant for my ears
But they cut just as deep

Can't you be just a little closer?
Can't we be just a little older?
Can't time be just a little faster?
Oh, if only, if only

The End

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