If I were this slow computer

If I were a laptop all shiny and black

I'd take as much time as I could

To open the programs and refresh the page

And pretend that my innards were wood


I'd laugh at my owner as 'Enter' she'd press

Just over and over again.

She'd think that it makes such a difference you see.

I do enjoy being a pain.


The very best thing is when she's in a rush

And needs to get something done quick

I'd show my eggtimer as long as I could

and generally get on her wick.


She'd pound and she'd tap and she'd bash at the keys

And curse till the air it turns blue

And then, when she saw 'Not Responding' again

She'd start hitting me with her shoe.


I think in a while she would get her revenge -

Throw me down one of those rubbish chutes,

But up until then I would drive her quite mad

And count all the times she reboots.

The End

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