If I could speak ''Dog''

if I could speak "Dog", it would be all woof

and yip and yap and yap

and the occasional time I'd ruff

while on somebody's lap


But if  I could speak up as a dog

my life would be quite rich

I'd leave my owner quite agogue

I'd say, "Who you calling b-tch?"


I'd pee on everything, even feet,

call myself a pee tyrant

I'd tell the seniors down the street

to stay clear of fire hydrants


The comely lass with the shapely ass

I'd plead and beg and beg

please just give me just one more pass

to hump that lovely leg


The postman, he steers clear of me

because of the bite marks on his finger

I'd yell across the road to he

"Hey, you dirty minger!"


There'd be lengthy dialogues

on matters diverse and deep

between a master and his dog

"euthanasia: should dogs be put to sleep?"


They'd have me on all the TV shows

while others jumped through hoops

I'd discuss the highs and lows

of rolling in one's poop!

The End

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