If I were President/Prime Minister

And so,firemen were able to get the cat from the tree

and that's all for local news, let's move on to it nationally

it seems we have a clear winner, another election spent,

now live, through channel five,  we'll hear from the new President


"I'd like to thank you all for coming, including reporters too

as your new president, there's a lot I'd like to do

including some 'controversial laws' I think that I'll  push through

in the coming days, I'll need a raise, through taxpayers, that's you"


"Don't think that I'm uncaring about those that I call bums,

those homeless folk, and other jokes who have trouble finding slums

I know,yes, they're starving, unemployed and glum.

Okay, fine.  We'll feed them then, but we'll feed them then  in rum.


And to the rest of you wretched slobs

complaining about a lack of jobs

I've heard about your insolent sobs

Go to school, you ignorant fools, or end up eating squab


I'm sure you reporters have some questions for me

I have your answers, most happily

Interviews will of course, cost a fee

If it's a bad word, and it's yours I've heard, you'll be cleaning toiletries


To those out there, who have a concern, about those 'human rights"

I'm not scared to make you aware, let me shed some light

if you know, what's good for you, if you're somewhat bright

Now listen to me, this country's "free", or else go fly a kite


Now, freedom as a virtue is something to be taken with stock

so policemen of course will be listenning for any "subversive" talk

Now just a few, and I mean you, might want to watch your clocks

a simple rule, whiners call cruel, you'll be home by nine o'clock


In terms of defense, ladies and gents,I have some extensive plans

there's a dire threat, to our fair nation, we dare not take a chance!

it seems that vile "terrorists", were rumoured mingling in France

no small raid, we will invade, I like wine, women and dance"


The End

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