Why oh why, can I not tell a lie
To ad lib, to be glib, to only tell one fib
Why oh why can I not tell a lie
In grade school once, to settle a dare
I put thumbtacks on Mr. Woodrow's chair
Before the headmaster could count to three
I raised my hand to cry, "It was me!"
What repels me from deciet?
And draws me in to welcome heat?
A lass I did court once asked me flat,
if in these pants did she look fat?
I told her in no uncertain means
that obesity was not caused by jeans
For what cause must I tell the truth?
No doubt I always seem aloof!
A form arrived in the mail today
to tally and score the tax I should pay
I think I'll respond in my usual way,
"I'm a permanent resident in Uruguay"