If I was in a horror movie

If I was in a horror movie

I would be as smart as I could be.

I would learn from those who’ve gone before,

My insides would not become décor.

 

I would never agree to split up,

Nor shag the hottie with the D cup -

We all know that unsafe sex can kill

But it really upsets Chainsaw Bill.

 

I would not check out that spooky noise,

I would run like hell from moving toys,

I would not run up the bloody stairs,

I would run to the cops – forget prayers!

 

My phone would work, my light never dim,

If Bill had rope tied around his limbs

I would be gone before the rope gives.

In short: I would be the guy who lives.

The End

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