I want to kill myself all the timeMature

You know
I wanna kill myself all the time
I just always wonder why
The stories play
Over and over
In my mind
Back and forth
I fight my thoughts
Pathetic stupid ugly bitch
Are the names I call myself
I wish
Oh I wish I just knew how to love
Myself and others
But because my mind is twisted
My mind is cruel
It's mission is to have my life to rule
To torture
To hurt
Whether physical or not
The struggle to fight..
Is it all for not?

I wanna kill myself all the time
Through my pain and sadness
Loneliness and grief
I wonder why I bullshit
My life, I mean, why don't I leave?
This world is bad
It's horrid and
Society killed me
Gave me these impossible goals
I'll never reach
Because of this, my mind goes crazy
Apart of myself screams
Why are you lazy!?
Why are you pathetic!?
A loser at most!
Why go on if you cause trouble to those
Who love you
Who care
It'd be better if you weren't there!

I wanna kill myself all the time
Cry myself to sleep
And I'll never know why
My argument to live
My argument to myself
Conquers my mind every time
While I am still a loser
Pathetic and gross
There are still people who love me
And those
Those people are the reason to live
To breath
To laugh
Be happy because
If I left this world
I'd leave them to wonder
Was it me or was it them
They would soon question their worth

So if I were to live
Through the pain
Through the ache
It would be worth it
To save them from that fate

The End

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