I Shall Not Hate

I hate.

I hate what we've become.  

I hate that you went away when I needed you most.

I hate that I let you go.

I hate your friends and family.

I hate how you always chose them over me.

I hate that you betrayed my trust.

I hate your caress of lust

but never love.

I hate that you asked me to change

and I hate that I changed for you.

I hate how you lost the gifts I gave you without a care.

I hate how you're never there

but still have the nerve to tell me you are. 

I hate that I've lost my voice, and my choice.

I hate being forever afraid

of disappointing you.

I hate crying myself to sleep every night.

I hate that you'd rather listen to music than my thoughts.

The list could go on and on

about all the things I hate about you,

but the thing I hate most

is though I hate what you do,

I'm so in love with you,

and I hate how I can hurt myself so much

just for three stupid words

we both know aren't true.

Who are you trying to fool?

The End

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