This poem is about running into my former academic advisor, though he could represent all my old therapists and everyone in my past who I put there on purpose. I was trying to get at the discomfort and awkwardness and desire to seem as though your life is better than before, even when it's not. I kind of failed. Definitely not my best poem.
I saw an ex this afternoon walking back from class
He was walking a little black and white dog, and
I wasn't sure it was him, red faced under a baseball cap
Crossing paths was inevitable, I said "Hey Larry!"
"How's the semester going?"
"I got the flu at the outset of break, and
I haven't gotten over
"Sorry, that sucks."
"How are you?"
"I'm okay, seventeen credits, you know..."
"I feel like I haven't seen you all semester."
"Yeah, I've been shut up in the darkroom."
"Nice seeing you."
I walked on.
Yeah, I've been shut up in my dorm room
Hiding from everything
One day a week, three times, at fifteen minute intervals
Because life sucks when you have major
Depression and an anxiety disorder.
I never liked him.
I'd say he was never not there,
But that would be a lie too,
He really had no virtues.
I never told him the problems that his job was to listen to,
He hated smoking since he was reformed,
So I kept quiet about that too.
I'm glad I switched advisors
Because the things I never said
Say it all.