i lost my first kiss

i did loose my first kiss to a girl. i'm not sure i'd want it back.

my first kiss

was when i was twelve years old,

and it was with a girl.

i was a kid,

i kissed my best friend

to see what it felt like.

we had the 

'kissing game'

after that,

we'd pretend we were dating,

one of us would be the boy,

and i was so young.

i didn't know it

wasn't normal.

that it was 'wrong'.

i lost my first kiss

to a girl who had two sisters

and a mom and a dad.

she lost her first kiss

to a girl who had a mom, her mom's girlfriend, 

her dad, and two sisters.

i don't think that i was a lesbian.

i don't think that i was thinking.

i think that i was twelve, and it didn't matter.

now it does, i suppose.

because i'm bi now,

and i like girls and guys,

but i was never attracted to her.

it was just a kiss, nothing more.

we're still friends. we don't talk about it.

i wonder if she's lesbian,

or straight, or bi,

or pretending to be straight.

hell, i'm afraid to tell

my own (pansexual) mother

that i'm bi.

but i lost my first kiss

to a girl,

and i don't care.

The End

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