I just want my friend backMature

I just want my friend back. . 

I just want to see that care free smile again, just hear that deep belly laugh that tells me you are truly enjoying yourself.

I just want to see those bright, soulful eyes, the ones that gaze into the universe with such awe; and wonder at what is still waiting for you out in the world.

I just want my friend back, I just want to sit and listen to your voice talk about what is happening in this crazy world; and talk with you and laugh about the crazy stories and things going on in our own.

That random text I send at midnight, "Would you rather have a magical amulet or ring?" You say amulet because a ring can get ripped off your finger.  And an amulet off your neck I reply.

I just want my friend back.

The one who tells me not to give  a FUCK what other people think, to just keep doing me.

The one who tells me people don't often change much. . .

But it saddens me to know that. . IT SADDENS ME TO KNOW WHAT I DID!

That in one night, one, blissful, extra ordinary night. . . 

I could see our friendship come to a close.

And so could you.

And I was naive to think that we could go back to what we were, OF COURSE I WAS A MESS!

And you don't like drama. . .I thought I kept my distance though. .

Yet even though you warned me, I still refused to listen.  Even now, I still believe  in the good person you are.

Shut out and pushed away I still care. But maybe not how you would think.

Because I just want my friend back, but I know a month would go like a day and a year like a week.  

And it makes me laugh, you still make me laugh. . for the better.

So I'm not going to be selfish and push you further than I have.  I'll text you in a day, just to let you know I get it, I understand not wanting me around.

But I'm here for you same as always.

I never will expect anything though.  Maybe I'll hear back in a week, but more than likely it will be never.

I hold my head up with confidence though, knowing you do the same. Even if you faked it at times the big ego we joked about carries you through.

We were both broken, but I'm working on fixing myself now.  I had wanted to do it together, but I see now you probably thought I meant in different terms. . but I didn't.

I just wanted to be happy for you same as always. To hear the latest story and make make some new shenanigans.

Because I just wanted my friend back. . .

But now I know, I have to let it be.

The End

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